theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
