going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
