The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
