Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
