I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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