Sry I called you an 8
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
