i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
