Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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