I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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