let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
