Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hello my rib-scented angel!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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