ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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