True but thats because hes a fetus.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
