While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
