ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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