He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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