what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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