just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
