Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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