i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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