yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
