Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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