Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
