So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
