She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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