One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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