We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
