My nipple is on Facebook.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
