this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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