why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
