i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
