She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
