I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
