We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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