I skipped work to stalk him.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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