I just made out with a guy for $7.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
