Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
