I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
