Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
