oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
