I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
