He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
