The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
