oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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