This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
