I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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