I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
