hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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