So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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