How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
