Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
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